Attitudes

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When my sister was young she liked this  small chair in a mall. Since she was too young to explain her self, she kept her hand on it and looked at my father. Instead of refusing her he  brought her something else so that she might  forget about the chair. But to everyone’s surprise she laid flat on the ground just besides the chair holding it. She did not cry, nor shout, nor did she throw a tantrum. Silently she  made her point clear that she WANTED the chair & nothing else!!

This is Attitude.How about it? It’s been many years and still this is one the famous and favorite of childhood incidents we recall. Imagine how a little child  made her point clear through her own way and little intellect on what she really wanted.

Attitudes are not taught. They are built in like memory chips of computer, mobiles and other gadgets. They are nurtured with the environment a human being is brought up in. Believe you me it’s cent per cent true that circumstances are the most powerful and effective tools on human minds. They make or break a person. By birth no one is a criminal or a bad person. They are born naturally with the same kind of beliefs, thoughts, perceptions, dreams and aims.

What is needed the most, is to accept the negative behaviours  of the broken ones in order to bring out the best of them.We need strong individuals in society  either in form of parents, elders, teachers, mentors, close associates to make a positive impact on various behaviours in order to see their next generation kids with positive behaviours towards achieving their goals in life. What matters is how you tackle with a tantrum thrown over by a youngster. This is where our knowledge & experiences is put on a litmus paper!

There a saying that goes:A little kind ripple goes a long way.

Moral of this saying is, if you save a life even once in your lifetime from a disasterous condition by just a little helping hand, lending your shoulder or even just by smiling. It all goes a long way in changing his/her life in ways even the ones being there at that particular moment might never know.

Coming towards the current scenario of the whole world today , we all need to be little giving, forgiving, kind, simple and adaptable to the sudden & unexpectable situations. Being connected with the basics and expecting little from surroundings, concentrating on haves rather than might have would eventually change the way of our thoughts, give us new directions and may be open new horizons to conquest,we had never come across.Now we have the quality time to ponder over matters with different vision and goals. We can make a difference in an unusual way.

Come on & get up share that beautiful smile of yours, your precious time, your lovely thoughts, skills, your motivation words or a tender touch with that sad stranger sitting around the corner of a house or street and make his/her day. 😊😊

Change your attitudes, spread & share positive vibes around you. In return you will definitely receive even better form of an attitude. 💞

The grass is greener at the other end

Our reflections in the mirror are true copies of how we look like but how we see ourselves in mirrors is different. I might see myself as Miss World or something more than that!! It maybe reverse as well. I might not like my eyes or nose. The most I could probably do is to conceal with makeup to hide my flaws. But this is not a healthy sign. It means you are denying the blessing you got without even asking or working for it. I might have been blind (Godforbid) and would have never been able to do anything to change it. We fail to accept the realities we are put it and dream about fictions, live in our own fantasies and as a result we are depressed and prone to anxiety and other medical ailments.

Honestly speaking, it’s all about how you feel about yourself whether good, bad or indifferent. The way we feel about ourselves reflects in our behaviours with others. I won’t react nicely to someone if I don’t feel good, I’d rather keep quite than giving a rude response. Or viceversa.

These are the generalized attitudes that we come across daily. If we achieve an accomplishment we aim for more or higher goals and aspire towards it. We are never content on what we have. As we all have the habit to compare with others in terms of luxuries, places or even other cultures. I am not criticising any particular place or country in this regard. Its human nature to lust for something they don’t have instead of focusing or being happy on what they are already blessed with.

This is the main reason most of us are sad and om tranqualizers for mental peace. The ratios of diabetes, heart attacks and many other psychological complexities have evolved so much. People even go to the extreme ends by committing suicides. Life is such a beautiful blessing given to us and we human beings take it so badly, so lightly and just give it away like that. The realization comes only after unrecoverable losses. This delimma will never end if we will not live in our Today’s.

Yesterday will never be there, future is unseen but we have today to be happy, to be thankful for what we have and the relations we possess. Covid has taught us enough lessons about unpredictable life plans and circumstances. All these are beyond our control and imagination.

We must change our outlook about life. Look into the mirror again, what you will see will be the version of what you always wanted to see. Be happy with yourself. Accept what you are and what you have. Try to give more in terms of solidarity, motivation, emotional support. Be generous in practical approach. Humblness is the best word defined for humanity. The grass in our sides will automatically look greener and worth to live for.

03.04.2021

Today is our 17th wedding anniversary. Whoever say time flies or it was just yesterday might have different opinion. I feel these 17years as decades or feel each day as a new journey, new procedure, new step. Sometimes a small successful one and at others slippery, topsy and turvey!!

Arshad was a complete stranger to me. Neither had I seen him before, nor had heard his name. He is nephew of our very close and dear uncle. My father’s coworker, class fellow and bossom friend. I have been brought up and lived my early life in UAE. For graduation I moved to Pakistan, after graduation I got an experience to work with a very big travel agency in Abu Dhabi. During my job, I got Arshad’s proposal. I wasn’t mentally prepared or expecting any thing like this as I was so eagerly involved in developing my professional career.

When my mother asked me if I was ready to accept the propsal, I don’t know why but I replied that it’s your wish mama.But it will be difficult for me to live in Mandibahaudin, a city unexpected for me or something not even in my wildest thoughts. She told me just one thing like mothers would do to have faith in Allah. She said she never knew she would spent her whole life in UAE, despite spending her childhood in a village in Pakistan.

I was burdened with thoughts of future and how will it all be managed. There was nothing in common between us. The proposal was expected. Arshad and I got married but the reception was decided after a year. After the marriage contract I went back with my parents to UAE to resign from my job and make preparations for settling in Mandibahaudin with Arshad.

The day came that was today i. e. Saturday 3rd April 2004 when I came to Mandibahaudin with Arshad. A new journey began. It was not a fairy tale life nor did I have any ideas about how was I going to cope with the strange faces, place and surroundings. The only people I knew was my uncle and his family.

It was smooth and cool in the beginning. As the famous saying goes :Marriage is not a bed of roses, it has many thorns in it as well.. So it’s absolutely right.

There were times which were hard to digest, resist or even carry on. Sometimes we were winners, at others lagers and still at times it felt like verge of the relation. Now I understand that all married couples go through same phases, sooner or later but they experience the sweet and bitterness of life together.

It’s my advice to give space to your spouse. When you give space you yourself set yourself free from unnecessary conflicts and worries. On the other hand the moment your spouse feels he or she’s been set free, he /she will run back to be your captive!!! Because we get so used to each other that we feel emptiness with out the other and we look forward to share or be with our spouse for spiritual bond that develops over a period of time and naturally.

Today I am celebrating my day writing this blog while Arshad is in Rawalpindi, doing I dont know what right now😄😄.

We wished each other over phone. That’s how life is. You learn to be happy on your own, learn to cherish things around you rather than yearning for that not within your reach. Your kids boost your spirits, you see them smile, make mistakes, throw tantrums, and most of all just their mere presence.

17 years in Mandibahaudin, Pakistan is definitely an era, a table Turner for me. I am not the same person I used to be. I cannot see my parents often or meet my brother or sisters frequently due to the distance between us now. Social media is the only platform for communicating and sharing my thoughts with all. When there is so much difference in cultures and backgrounds, you miss the beat, the frequency. Adjusting with a great amount of different perspective of people and area is indeed very challenging.

The punch line is when we mix with people or places of different mindsets, new ideas emerge. We get to share a lot good things and receive good vibes at the other end. If a person we meet is productive there is nothing more we can ask for. After all we all aim towards making this world a better place to live on not only for ourselves but for our generations as well.

Thank you Arshad for all that you have done for me, given me, comforted me when I used to cry, listened quietly to my yellings, laughed at my silliness and lastly making me feel my worth.

Beacon of light…

I am a person of soft words, small gestures of kindness and some respect. All packed and delivered in a pleasing manner and you get the best part of me. That’s fair enough I guess. Everyone or most of you might think the same. We return what we get in form of attitudes and behaviours
So what if keep on giving our best selves and get no return of goodwill at the other end? Does it matter to us? Offcourse it does!! It hurts us, kills us inside, sometimes the negative behaviours traumatize us and ruin our mental health..
Are we at fault? Maybe not. Our reaction should be monitored and controlled by our reflexes. We must be well prepared to infuse any social drama whatsoever. It’s cruel and unjust towards our own self but in the long run it’s  a HEALING process. It not only heals us, releases our subconscious from unnecessary affections, expectations but also heals other from being so impulsive or defensive on their part.
There we are now. BEACONS OF LIGHT!!! That’s how it starts. That’s how they reflect the energy within themselves for others to follow upon. They become the leaders.